Family vacation….are you kidding?

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I’m a countdown kinda girl, always was. As a child the day after my birthday I’d ask “how many days until my birthday?”. I love countdown tickers and the visualization they provide. It must be a part of my “planner” trait. Of course I must say that this does NOT apply to my menu planning, I hate that and never stick to it. Could that have to do with my issues with cooking? I digress.
So we have talked about taking a vacation with our 2 girls for years. Actually to be truthful we’d seen so many friends take their kids on vacation with them that our private mocking of them began to seem like it was wrong…gasp!
Two years ago we decided to take a trip which of course didn’t include the girls. Where to go? hmmmm. Hedonism obviously!!
Perhaps you haven’t heard of this resort in Jamaica? Well it’s adult only, clothing optional all inclusive, 4 star resort (totally not 4 stars in our opinion).
When we arrived at this resort it was like being handed a freedom card. Free to be/do whatever you felt like. Everything goes here. For us this was intimidating of course but we said “what’s the worst that can happen??”
Ok I know that you may be interested but this blog isn’t about Hedo ;)
We had planned to take our girls with us on our first family vacation this past September but it didn’t work out due to Car accident stuff (injuries and finances). Sooooo in October hubby throws out that he is booking our vacation for January. WHAT? HOW? omg I’ll have to travel.
I went deep into my dark space, that space where I feel out of control, where the anxiety which hides in me grabs me by the throat and tightens the grip. Over a week of discussions we realized that I can do this. Hubby felt that with all of the changes in the past year due to my limitations the girls could really use the break.
Where would we go? What makes sense to my limitations and will be amazing for the girls?
Walt Disney World!!!!
Yippeee, time to begin a countdown right???? This is the greatest place on Earth right???
I’m so not feeling it.
The girls and hubby are totally stoked, we leave on Saturday. I am looking forward to seeing the 3 of them enjoy it but the FEAR is overwhelming when I really think about it. I go in circles in my mind of the risks involved with travel, being in crowds….on and on with illogical PTSD related thoughts
Prior to the car accident I traveled for work often, all across Canada and enjoyed it. I loved the flying process, knowing that once I was on the plane I would be served in little cups and could sleep well until I arrived. I loved planning the transportation to our branch offices, the hotel rooms etc.
Now here I am with a wonderful vacation planned, dinners booked, events for the girls arranged, wheelchair for me and I know that we’re staying on the Disney site so when I’m exhausted I can leave everyone at the park…….and all I feel is FEAR, anxiety. I already had sleep issues but now it’s worse.
So what do I do?
I’m just keeping my thoughts where my hands are, living for just today. Isn’t it funny that even with something really good I’m having to use my tools to deal?
It’s working. I’ve been avoiding this blog because I just didn’t want to think about it but putting it on paper will help me remember this in a month.
So we will leave Saturday for Disney and I’ll be in an AA meeting and a church service at Walt Disney World on Sunday!! How cool is it that there are meetings and churches??
Today I’m packing, organizing and prepping the house for the dog sitter.
Oh and the old me would never have agreed to this, my selfish self “couldn’t” have done it. Today I’ve seen my DR and physiotherapist for advice, planned all my routes back to the room and honestly am entering into this with an open heart….for my family.

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Comments

  1. says

    We took the girls to Disney after my 5-year litigation battle with my insurance company about my fibromyalgia. It was a stressful 5 years and after getting a settlement we decided that this trip was in order. Though I did end out waking up with a pinched nerve in my neck one morning and had to get a room service massage (cost a fortune!), we did manage to enjoy the rest of the trip. Two days in the parks, a day by the pool, and two more days in the parks. The first day was rainy so we cruised the nearby stores and museums – Ripley's Believe It Or Not was a hoot.I have to say I never felt better physically than when we were in Florida. This was in 2002 so my kids were 5 and 8 and they didn't fight one time the whole week. It was the best week of my life and I didn't want to return home. I hope you will feel some relief from your pain and be able to enjoy it as much as we did. Have a blast. You deserve it.

  2. says

    Hedonism… Disney… Hedonism? Disney? hmmmm…. lol this post made me smile. I am glad you're getting to do the family vacation thing, I am sure it will be an awesome experience for all of you!God Bless :)

  3. says

    Julie I promise you it will be fantastic ! As you walk around the parks remember we were all there just weeks ago , must have done those parks a dozen times and it is always great fun . To be honest there is nowhere else like it to see the wonder on children's faces, enjoy some very special time with your family you will all be talking about this holiday for years to come I promise you , and the chances are you will all want to go back real soon ! It is the only place where it is OK to be a child too ! So relax and have fun ! XXX

  4. says

    You will be fine. Take a book, a camera, and a smile girl! God saved you once he can keep you in the palm of his hand again! You just go and have the time or your life and make memories that will last a life time….. :)

  5. says

    One day at a time. You're right to focus on today rather than…what comes next on the vacation front. You'll end up loving it, I'm sure.

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