Parenting & Puke, they just go together

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Today I’m pleased to have my friend Leslie from Ruff Ruminations writing for us. Leslie is a Mom with a great sense of humor, she and I often end up chatting about some of the pleasantries of parenting……..

About Leslie Brooks
Leslie Brooks is stay at home Mommy to Grady, she is certain this is the best job she’s ever had! Avid reader and crafter whenever life gives her the chance to indulge in herself. Leslie also blogs at Ruff Ruminations.

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Puke – The Ins and Outs

This post is thanks to a conversation with Julie on twitter the other night because I was missing the beginning a twitter party due to some ill (pun intended) timed puking by my 3 year old son. I was being thankful that he was finally learning to hit the toilet. I bet your thinking “what a crazy thing to be thankful for!” Well it is and I’ll tell you why!

If you’re a parent you’ve probably had your fair share of puke incidents. If you’re not a parent you might want to stop reading, and if you’re on your lunch break you DEFINITELY want to stop reading! Here goes:

Karma is a bitch, or so they say, I’ve never had the pleasure of meeting her in person but I’ll reserve judgement until I do! I do know that wherever she is she is laughing at me for all the times I bragged about my son not spitting up, especially those times when my niece was wearing a waterproof bib on car rides and I thought I was sooo lucky!

Its true as a baby my son rarely spat up and never puked (once I figured out how to slow my milk flow).I talked about how he could wear the same clothes for days and rarely need a bath let alone a cloth. Then he developed a gag reflex, out of nowhere I swear! Around the same time he developed a distaste for going to bed…can you see where I am going? No? At the time we were also trying the wait it out approach for going to sleep…wait for it! He, glory of glories (not at all) figured out how to make himself puke! Clever bas- kidding- I won’t say that! But still smart eh? Cuz you can’t wait out a kid who has puked all over himself. And in all my naiveté I thought it couldn’t get worse!

I became PRO at hearing that fateful sound and sprinting up the stairs before he could do it, and we got over that hurdle. Then the game changed and my son was old enough to get for real sick. And every little one needs their mama when they are sick. He would ask to be held then promptly throw up his guts right down my cleavage! I hope you’re laughing because I am. It is funny now and it took me a good year to recognize the warning signs and move fast enough to avoid it. Many a time I changed my clothes more often than he had to! Once after a couple long days in the hospital due to asthma I thought it was safe to hold the little guy, I mean he had barely eaten. But I swear to you I have never before and since seen such an amount come out of a child and to make matters worse it was like he actually shat out his mouth! Poor guy and laugh it up because it was all over me, and I didn’t have a change of clothes!

So what can you learn from this? Have the reflexes of a ninja and as soon as you can teach your kid to hit the toilet! It’s a funny thing to think about teaching but it’s much better than cleavage alternatives, and now he’s fast like a ninja and we listen when he says he needs to go to the toilet, cuz he doesn’t mean he needs to pee!

But as sad and hard as it is to have puke-fest on your hands it usually ends in this:

 

 

Or this:

Or these:

And that makes up for all the chunks down between my, well you get it! Happy Ninja training and I hope you enjoyed this post :D

Comments

  1. says

    Oh I totally agree, mine got sick the other day and FINALLY it wasn’t on the carpet, or the couch, or his bed, or ME!! It still sucks but soo much less

  2. says

    Oh Puke Ninja skills. Nice.

    Poor kid. Mine like to vomit EVERYWHERE when they puke. I’m thankful they don’t do it too often, because it makes such a mess. Worst is that it’s usually in the middle of the night and I have to clean them up, change the bed, find new jammies, tuck them back in, (all without waking up any siblings), clean up the bathroom, and dispose of the offending clothes/cloths/bedding asap. By the time I get back to bed, the next one starts. Sigh.
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  3. says

    We are finally getting our oldest into the “you need to puke INTO something” mode. For the longest time she’d look at the bucket, shove it across the room and spew on my feet. It was “awesome” and by awesome of course I mean totally disgusting!
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  4. says

    Oh puke how i loathe thy! I know exactly what it feels like to have your kiddo stand up and it just flies out everywhere. My daughter is almost seven and she’s just starting to run to the toilet when she feels she might be sick, but my son who’s four, no such luck. He was sick a couple of months ago while the hubby was out of town. We have leather couches, luckily, but he threw up all over it. Two baths later, an hour of cleaning up, with a trash can next to our love seat with the little one cuddled up I was exhausted. Yeah, puke, I am not a fan.

    PS – love the pics of your little one sleeping, super cute!
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  5. says

    Love this post Leslie!
    I have been puked on too, right after my husband was puked on – he handed me our daughter (not much older than 1) and the proceeded to puke all over me. Fun!

    My father-in-law told me just to throw them into the bath tub – way easier to clean up than the floor – and sometimes when they are really little – much bigger target to hit than a toilet.

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