Thank you to Samantha who is sharing her words with us all today. Sober doesn’t Suck!is a safe place for people to share their stories of drinking, addiction and recovery openly and honestly. There is no requirement of sobriety for posting, if you’re concerned about your using I want to hear from you too.
- I remember things, most of the time. I don’t black out. I have some control over what I say. I don’t wake up in the morning wondering what I said. I don’t wake up dreading stories of my previous days or the apologies I need to make. I have also not peed my bed thinking it was the dog for more than six years. I am responsible for me. I am responsible. I am responsible. And, I am alive. I am here, here right now, here where I belong and I am alive. That is a miracle.
- Finally, finally had the courage and strength to admit I was powerless. I couldn’t say I was an alcoholic for years; I only abused alcohol. And, I was able to admit my powerlessness and become part of the AA family.
- I reconnected with a Higher Power of my own understanding. My relationship with my higher power is more spiritual and mature. I pray differently. It isn’t God Please Give Me this, or stop me from doing that.
- I have a program to work. I have a program now that helps me be a better person in all affairs I conduct. So many people don’t have the opportunity to work through life’s challenges in the way this program has taught me. I have step four, five and ten of special note to really help me avoid conflict. My non-alcoholic friends that struggle with that “ism” don’t have a program for life’s other bumpy spots. But I do. I’m lucky. I’m blessed.
- I can accept responsibility. I can apologize. I know how to keep my side of the street clean (most of the time) and I can recognize when I am trying to clean the whole neighbourhood.
- I know I am loved. You showed me I am loved. I am loved when I relapsed. I am loved when I am working my best (but certainly not perfect) program. You don’t know me but you love me. And for that, I am so grateful. We are a family with varying backgrounds but our common bond, outweighs all differences and I feel loved by each and everyone.
- I love you all. The simple fact that we work this program together binds us. When I encounter a fellow; I instantly feel that deep love and compassion toward them. I can show my love and don’t feel inhibitions.
- I am useful. With the twelfth step I am able to give of myself. I can extend the hand of AA that was so generously extended to me.
- My 12th step work, that allows me to be useful also gives me more than I could ever dream of. When I give to you, when I shake your hand, I get so much back. I want you to get the same benefit, but even if you don’t, I am still rewarded for service. That is a feeling I wish we could bottle and distribute. Nothing feels better than service work in sobriety. Nothing.
- I know that promises come true. The promises we read about do come true. They might not happen right away. They might not happen every day. They may not happen all the time. But if we are painstaking in our work in this program, if we work the steps and do the next right thing, over time, these promises, as they are accurately presented to us, do come true.
- I continue to grow. Every year I am more mature. I actually recognize I know less and less and as a result my heart expands and my program flourishes. I’m not perfect. I’m ok with that. I learn from my teacher, I learn from my fellows and I learn new things as I read more, experience more meetings and connect with more people. My development, unlike when I am drinking, isn’t arrested. It continues to mature. Yea, I haven’t been arrested for a long time either.
- I met my best friend, my husband through this program. We work the program together. We do step work as a team but still have individual programs. We benefit mutually from service work. We are a team. I couldn’t be more grateful for having a partner in this program. I always said I would never date or marry a drunk who is crazy like me. I couldn’t be more blessed to have married a recovering alcoholic who is still crazy like me but we share a program of immeasurable opportunity for joy and happiness.
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