November is a month which didn’t mean anything specail to me in my younger years, no holidays, no birthdays…nada. Funny how this has changed as an adult, November seems to the be month where my family is JAMMED this year! Somehow my husband and I have managed to muck up our schedule and we’re running around far too much. Nights when we’d rather be escaping the cold, sitting by the fire having a chat we’re found to be bundling up to take the kids here and there.
The funny thing is that I wrote a fantastic piece about this exact topic over 2 years ago, Are You Too Busy. Today I’m sharing it here because frankly I needed the reminder and shall be delegating today.
Are You Too Busy?
Alright so you say you’re busy? Perhaps you feel like life is passing you by? Well my friends grab a cuppa tea and let’s discuss, yes I’m serious! Pause life for a moment and humour me.
For those who are new around here, I’m Julie and I happen to be an alcoholic among other things. I believe in shooting straight from the hip, so get your flak jackets if you need them. Here comes the big message, are you ready?
Busy is a negative state of being, it causes us to miss our true purpose on this journey.
There I said it, did that hurt, and did it echo through your mind? Are you feeling the need to rebut that statement?
Let me explain.
If you would, please bring yourself back to how it feels to be busy. Pay attention to the physical state; is it a positive state for you physically? Probably not, generally we have negative physical reactions to heightened stress, which happens when our lives become busy. We may notice that we have a higher heart rate, weight loss or gain, sleep issues, skin changes, shakes, nausea…the list continues.
Let’s look at your mood; in busy stages of our lives we are usually more emotional. Unfortunately this doesn’t translate into being Mary Poppins-happy, it’s usually the opposite. Do you find that you’re edgy, anxious, harried, feeling like you’re not at your best and life’s demands are unreasonable?
How’s your performance when you’re busy? If you’re honest with yourself, irrelevant if you “thrive on stress”, the end results are probably not going to be your best ever. Can you truly say that you are achieving your potential when you’re pressed for time?
There is a higher potential for relationships to become strained when we’re busy. A mother who is in a hurry is much less likely to have tolerance and patience for a child, under the panic of a deadline employer/employee relationships are lacking in understanding.
Assuming I’m correct in my statement now, based solely upon the examples I’ve given, perhaps we should ask ourselves how do we feel about ourselves? Are you feeling lost, like life is passing you by?
There is a degree of “busy” which is healthy; there are life demands which we cannot ignore and yet so many of us focus upon adding more rather than satisfying those necessary demands and finding peace in our free time. It seems that North American culture expects everyone to be busy in order to be productive and being productive indicates serving a purpose.
Our purpose on this Earth isn’t to be busy.
We are here to build relationships, experience life, experience culture, investigate and create things, to help others, to take opportunities to learn, to love one another. Our individual purposes will all be different but I think we can all agree that none of us feel we are here for the sole purpose of being busy.
If you took an inventory of your time, would you find that you could use it differently?
For some, the busyness is a way to avoid confronting themselves for fear of what they may find lurking. If this is you, don’t worry, we’ve all been there and it’s easily reversible. Being busy all the time allows us to live in the relative comfort of our own defences, without the need to question whether they’re working for us or against us.
From a personal standpoint; some choose to dull ourselves using alcohol, drugs, sex, work, food, gambling and other addictions. These have the same effect as the state of “busy”; they allow us to hide from emotional pain.
I encourage you to take a look at the demands upon you, are there some which you could delegate? Could you handle some more efficiently, how about simply saying no to people when they request your time?
It’s vital for all of us to spend time reflecting and being still, to experience time more consciously. We have learned to cloak ourselves in the business of the world around us, in taking the time to shed this cloak we can see our authentic selves and begin to love and nurture ourselves.