I often hear in the rooms about people who are about to relapse….how they are just going to drive into the Beer Store parking lot and they notice a fellow AA nearby. Or how they get a call right at the moment from someone in AA. They’re waylaid. This is my first experience.
Thursday evening I got a text from a fellow AA’er asking if I’m still selling chocolate covered almonds. As every mother of young girls will attest we’re usually fundraising in this house for something, right now it’s gymnastics. So yes indeed we’re selling them, actually begging people to buy the contents of 2 cartons which I allowed in the house.
Alright, Friend’s on his way over!! Excellent I think, a few more boxes I won’t eat or have to pay for when the kids eat them on the sly.
While Friend is here he mentions that he’s heading to a meeting just out of town which I’ve been wanting to attend. I don’t drive out of town so it was the opportune time to go.
So here we are, Hubby and Friend eating chocolate and me having the internal battle about a meeting. I want to go but I’m tired, have a bad headache, could cuddle up in bed early …on and on.
You have to understand this isn’t just mere avoidance, I actually need to plan everything ahead in order to get out of the house nowadays. It’s ridiculous really but it is what it is.
Then my sponsor texts me to chat but says that she’s heading into her home meeting and not to be surprised if she can’t respond.
Her home group is the meeting Friend is going to.
Sense of humor much God?
So off we go, Friend driving while I avoid looking at the road (anxiety issues) and we’re chatting away when I realize that Friend is carrying MAJOR resentment right now. How had I missed this over the last hour of his visit at our house? He has conflict with someone in the AA rooms and he’s telling me about the situation and his feelings but something’s not jiving. His anger is just too much in relation to everything.
It strikes me that Friend is stuck, not progressing as he had been. He tells me his frustrations with his past, about anger he is holding from the past and what he misses of the good times in past relationships. His sadness is palpable.
So we sit there in the church parking lot and identify his real issue, what he needs to work through. Keep in mind as I’m sitting there I’m being patient with my words, careful not to hurt Friend by saying what impatient Julie wants to blurt out. Helping him come to the answer himself. And praying. Praying hard that God will allow Friend to see it.
So in we went to a great meeting, we split into 2 groups. Friend went to one open table discussion meeting and I went to a Step 1 discussion with my sponsor. Fantastic sharing that night.
On the way home Friend thanked me, told me he had made plans for the weekend with some AA’ers with long time sobriety to work through the issues. He told me he didn’t know what he would have done if I hadn’t come with him. Basically he was pretty sure he wouldn’t have been in the place he was now and he thinks inside himself he was planning a relapse.
God’s plan works, I was so glad I gave in earlier in the evening and didn’t just say goodbye to Friend and go to bed early. I am glad my sponsor texted. I’m glad God used her and I. I’m glad that I paused and submitted to God’s will in my life.
Hindsight is wicked good sometimes.
I went home and put $2 in the bloody chocolate covered almond box and enjoyed.