Today was the day of my Baptism!!!
I know that some of you are fist pumping with me here!!
So of course last night was spent preparing food for the luncheon we were holding after the service, last minute shopping and reviewing my testimony.
And reviewing….then went to bed and reviewed it in my head.
There just didn’t seem to be enough time for me to share everything God has given to me in this life so far. His works have been extraordinary to me.
Finally my busy mind did shut off and I slept for 4 hours and was woken up by my 7 year old excitedly letting me know it was my day to be dunked!!!! Whoohooo Mummy….get up we have to get ready.
It was 7am, service was at 11am.
So up gets (seriously grumpy, don’t talk to me yet) Mommy and the morning routine begins a bit earlier than expected. It turned out that we needed all that extra time though. As is wont to happen on a big day every small thing that could go wrong did.
We arrived at the church with plenty of time and I went to meet with the Pastors and the other 5 people being baptized. Yes folks there were 6 of us in total.
Isn’t that AWESOME?
We went through the trial run and I was feeling calm, praying every 10 minutes since waking had probably helped. We all joined together in prayer….that was calming and I was filled with emotion, my love for God and all he has done was overflowing from me.
It was now about 10 minutes until the service began and time to change. I had been told to wear a bathing suit with a T shirt and shorts over it. I knew I was being fully immersed in water so when choosing my attire black was the choice of color. There would be nothing pretty about a wet white Tshirt with all those fine folks watching.
The service begins, we baptizees (is that a word?) were behind a large black curtain to the side of the stage (probably not the right word for it) and we listened to the opening prayer and joined in some singing worship while pacing in small circles and fidgeting.
And then it came….my name was spoken, my good friend who is our Worship Pastor called me up to the podium to share my testimony.
For a second I was there behind the curtain and filled with fear and internal pressure! It was bizarre, I had gone from calm to deeply frightened in a few seconds.
I don’t know why but I looked at my sister, it was likely for just a nanosecond and it allowed me to breathe again and I lifted a prayer in earnest….just gave it up to my Lord yet again.
I took the first few steps and slowly felt calmer…I made it up the few steps to the podium.
I arranged my notes and finally raised my eyes to the congregation.
Shazam, that’s a ton of people out there!
Smiling faces, supportive faces of strangers and loved ones.
And so I shared with them all immediately how different the view was from up there….and they laughed…..and it calmed me more.
I shared my heart with these people, some Christian and some not.
To these people I came as close to being naked in public as I’m going to get.
Both with my inner self and outer.
Here I stood wearing an outfit I normally wouldn’t be caught dead in, no makeup retelling some very emotional things in my life.
And it was joyful!!!!
Because it wasn’t about me, it was God’s day, the day to shout out how He saved me!
Sharing my journey is always cathartic for me, it always teaches me but to date I haven’t been in a position to proclaim myself as a disciple for Christ specifically. It was a gift.
God gave me the words as I’m often told he will, and I was done speaking.
My sister came up at this point and said some amazing words to me, I was so emotional that I can’t remember them exactly but to sum it up she acknowledged that I’ve struggled and survived, that I accepted God’s grace. My sister told me I’m unique, that I’m wonderful!! That touched me soooo deeply. She shared a verse from Romans for me which moved me greatly.
Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God – this is true worship.
Have I mentioned how much I love my sister and what an amazing support she has been for me over the years, even when I wasn’t looking for support?
Another cool thing she did was thank the congregation, she expressed her gratitude for those who prayed for me for years before even knowing who I am. I am so glad she did that, to those people I thank you here and hope to have the opportunity one day to do it in person.
Now was the big moment, getting into the tub and having my Pastor pray over me and then the dunking!!
Here is my humble moment, just before my Pastor dunked me, that one last moment of thanks to God!!
It’s a surreal moment which I’m finding difficult to describe. For so many years I had attended Baptismal services and celebrating with others and yet didn’t think I’d ever be worthy of it.
I just didn’t know how to see my life as a Christian woman….I couldn’t be perfect enough…I was incapable.
In this moment today I realized deep down that I knew….really truly knew that I was capable.
That I’m already living my life as a Christian woman and how fulfilled I am by this.
Each of the 6 people being baptized today had very different testimonies, each were impactful and filled with our love of God and our determination to serve Him well and share with others.
Upon exiting the chapel I was approached by many people I didn’t know until today who were so openly loving, celebrating this day with me. It was so friendly and joyful. Then my family and friends all enjoyed a yummy lunch together, we cleaned up together and headed home.
Once home Hubby and I took a moment to review the day together over coffee.
And then I had no words, just an inner peace.
I knew in this moment that I’ll never have a God-sized hole in my heart again!!!