When my first daughter was born I was eager to know all the information a Mommy would need, I scoured the Internet for months preparing myself for illness, developmental milestones, the newest learning toys and anything that I could add to my arsenal of Mommy hood to prepare myself and my Darling Daughter.
Fast forward 7 years, add another child and the challenges of life and here I am.
Unprepared.
Now let me state that in my opinion we’re always unprepared when in experiencing anything for the first time but usually I have a heads up on things which are predictable.
My girls are in gymnastics, I’ve noted this in the past I think but with this sieve of a memory who knows..
My youngest has been in the gymnastics club for a year now, seriously this kid is a mini Mary Lou Retton
Okay I’m dating myself but Mary was the most AMAZING gymnast when I was growing up.
My eldest decided to join the gym in January and her confidence is growing. She is an amazing child who sits back and watches how something is done until she gets the confidence to give it a shot. I didn’t know how this would pan out but with the help of great coaches she’s shocking me with her enthusiasm.
My Girls spend a ridiculous amount of time practicing cartwheels, handstands, moving the furniture to use as mats…you get the picture. It’s a constant avoidance of little heels flipping in the air here.
I’m teaching them the ins and outs of the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser for the footprints halfway up the wall.
Here’s a pic of my youngest at the gym, my eldest doesn’t allow me to take photos there, it’s “too embarrassing”
So now I’m a gymnastics Mom and apparently (I have a thing for titles) there’s a whole subculture here I was unaware of.
Sitting watching my girls the other day I saw some of the parents wearing really cute jackets with the Club name Bedazzled on the back. Of course I wanted one, I love a bit of bling!!!
OK so I wanted to sparkle and belong to the whole Blingy Club Mommies ;)
So I very nicely said Hi in my most charismatic way and inquired politely about the jackets……I received the cold stare, looks exchanged by these Blingy Club Mommies and then a sigh….response: Only competition members can purchase these jackets.
There it is folks an entire aspect of this Club I was unaware of.
A feeling began to take me over, a voice from that Black box of my mind screamed EXCLUDED!
Dear Lord why didn’t I KNOW?
I thanked them, keeping my outward appearance of “being in the know” and resumed watching my girls practice.
Now my fellow blogisphere friends we all have felt this feeling.
Of not being aware of something, of feeling unprepared but for myself it’s an irrational reaction which takes place inside of me.
I was instantly offended by those Mean Mommies behavior, excluding me, by their obvious condescension. While this should be annoying it shouldn’t make me feel the need to “fit in” at 38 years old.
It was a knee jerk feeling.
It’s a character defect, one which I’m glad I’m aware of.
Because I didn’t react, I didn’t go to the coaches and ask for my children to be evaluated, to demand they be accepted into the competition level of training, I didn’t make a fuss.
What I did do was take a breath and realize that I have these tendencies, shift my perspective and watch the competition kids, appreciate their efforts and then move my gaze to where my eldest was learning the bars.
I saw her timid smile as she spoke with her coach. I saw her trying her best and enjoying it.
I laughed with her as she clumsily tried again and again.
I watched my youngest perfecting her cartwheel and looking around to find me and jump up and down waving to me.
I was proud of my girls.
I was proud of myself for accepting my defects and working on changing them as clumsy as my efforts are, they are consciously progressing.
So while I may one day be a Blingy Club Mommy today I am happy being just a normal not always prepared Mommy of 2 FANFRIGGINTASTIC Gifts from God.
I love it! You're awesome and so are your girls! Way to go. You can bedazzle your own jacket, too.
How ancient do I feel that Nadia Comaneci is the name that comes to mind regarding gymnastics for me?
They want to fell like they belong too… what a sad society of people desperate to belong. Thank goodness God adopted us into the best 'club' EVER!!!
Yep, been there, done that, ain't going down that road no more. I have felt those feelings a million times, and it was me buying into their agenda. Now I smile and give the people I really like and respect the attention they deserve, and for those who think they are better I want nothing to do with their giant balls of insecurity. At 42 I've earned the right to surround myself with people I want to be around. We're alcoholics, we have this tiny voice inside of us that always tells us we're not good enough. The only difference is today I do not listen to that voice. I stick my fingers in my ears and say, "nah, nah, can't hear you!' You are an awesome mum! Those girls will be so full of self confidence and will never remember whether you wore a blingy mommy jacket or not. All they will remember is how much they love you……
I use to go 'round and 'round with this one. My need to people please and fit in…I would go the route of sticking with those who I felt were 'nice' to me. Then I just decided one day that it still required too much energy to play these mental gymnastics (ha ha) regarding who I should talk to, where I fit in, blah blah blah. And I just decided…To stop.I would be nice to everyone.I would talk to anyone.Everyone is invited.I wouldn't take it personally.Love conquers all.This decision was based on the idea of forgiveness and that anyone one of us could be part of the "in" crowd at some point in time and potentially excluding someone who desperately wants to belong.Side note: I was just thinking of purchasing a Bedazzler because they are JUST that cool.And so are you :)
I'm sitting here not sure how to voice what I want to say. I just can't believe how some people behave! You worked through this well and I think your outlook is great! Way to go, girl. And same to your little ones too!
Hey guysFirst off I want to say that the coaches at the girls gym are wonderful and I don't mean this blog as a reflection upon them, it was about my internal feelings.@Jana, we should Bedazzle together lol@ Yvonne my dear cousin I also remember her but was trying to look younger ;)@Kathy you're exactly right, Praise God@Dry I hope my girls grow up to be the best they can be and I plan on wearing really bad red lipstick, yell loudly in praising them and wear the tackiest clothes I can cuz that's just how I roll@Kristen I love that, you've explained how I'm living my life now, no exclusion just love and acceptance for everyone. If I can do that then I'm treating others as God has treated me@Dawn, you expressed it well, I hear ya and thank you my friend.
I grew up in gymnastics for 12 years, and I was so excited to read this post until mid way through. How lame those ladies were like that! I say you make your own bedazzled jacket and show up next week wearing it, sitting right next to them. OK, so really, I like all the comments above mine, so yeah, I would do that. all that love stuff. :-) But you could also gain your own bedazzled jacket out of it.
I LOVE what Kathy said. But ok, I will admit, when I first read about those mom's…my first thought was, "bitches." Ok, I'm sorry. I know you are a Christian woman and so am I….but sometimes that is the best word I can come up with. God forgive me.
JulieYou got class gf! Your return comment with the disclaimer was poignant! aww, but I get you , and so do the other replyers (hmm, probably not a word) in this thread. But, dang-it!!!! We have the same issues with VB.At the end of the day, though, most of our kids are out for these extracurricular sports learning exactly what you pointed out with your girls – some self-esteem, confidence, and some hard knock lessons in life. An enhancement to the character-building we work so hard to impress upon them. And many of the blingy-moms have their kids in clubs that cost exhorbitant amounts of money, and that is how they get the bling, not because their precious polly is headed for the olympics!!!!!!!Because they're ignorant enough to buy into it!You're an AWESOME mom becuase YOU ARE FOR REAL!!!~d
You have such a refreshing perspective on things – I love that.
good for you. I think everyone hates to feel excluded but obviously the jackets just turn you into a B*tch.
So many can learn from you. I love how positive you are. Your daughters, I'm sure, get the same energy from you as they seem to be vibrant beautiful girls. Lexie Lanewww.voiceboks.com