“Thank you drunk guy trying to get into houses for choosing ours at 2:45am, I’m hoping you dig the drunk tank”
I didn’t put much thought into the status post but with it being on my personal profile page I would have thougth people knew me and my situation well enough that I wouldn’t have to.
I wouldn’t have thought to say that I felt for this guy, that we didn’t know what else to do, that he was incoherent, that we spoke calmly to him with dignity and respect , that we were scared he might stumble to a house where someone could hurt him out of fear.
I was wrong.
There were supportive posts from friends but there was also a post from someone who felt the need to tell me that I should have had sympathy for the guy, pointing out that not long ago I was walking in that guys shoes.
He went on to ask
“Isn’t this God you preach about tolerant and understanding or is that only true on Sunday’s?”
There were many posts following that one, I appreciate that many people pointed out that his post was unreasonable and that it was doubtful that anyone would have invited this stranger in for coffee and a discussion on alcoholism or God.
The poster did apologize and pointed out that his intention wasn’t to offend me.
Pretty busy Facebook wall to login to.
So I’ve been pondering how to post this, I’m not concerned with my relationship with the poster, he and I will work that out between us.
What I’ve been looking at is myself and how I’m presenting myself.
My first reaction to this post wasn’t anger, it wasn’t indignation as it would have been in the past.
It was sadness that someone didn’t get me.
I hadn’t given enough of myself in that status line for people to know the situation.
How did it end up being a discussion on my faith or alcoholism?
That happened because someone had seen parts of my journey and established judgment upon me.
AA has taught me that I cannot control people, places or things.
God has taught me compassion.
Both have taught me self-worth.
Today I have had the opportunity to see my growth through this, I’ve reviewed the situations and am happy with my actions and responses.
There is always work to be done, as always I’m seeking progress today rather than perfection.
I’m glad I can look these events and see that I’m not only living my faith on Sundays and that I have the ability to have sympathy for this guy who was drunk, that I didn’t respond as I would have in the past.
If the poster hadn’t challenged me, as inappropriate as it was, I wouldn’t have had the chance to see the progress I’ve made.
I’m reassured that I am living with rigorous honesty with myself and my God.
And the aquarium?
So are both my sobriety and my faith.
God has called me to live this journey fully and loudly and I’m responding.