confidence – freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities;
Today was a day when confidence punched me in the stomach, my 7 year old daughter wanted to ride her bike to school by herself. She would have a mere 3 minute bike ride with crossing guards to assist her on her way.
My mind was screaming NO!!!!!
My baby couldn’t do it, not without me there.
What if she gets scared and doesn’t know what to do?
What if her amazing bicycling skills failed her?
What if a car doesn’t see her and hits her?
What if ….
Sydney is our first born daughter and she’s always been an amazing mystery to me.
Sydney was born three weeks early in an emergency situation, she was healthy and totally normal except when it came time to sleep. She would get so overstimulated we would have to swaddle her, use a pacifier, hold her while patting her bum whispering shhh, shhh, shhh until she finally settled.
She was a big baby, she learned to sit up while the other babies were already crawling.
Sydney would watch the other babies and be content sitting until the day when she effortlessly crawled over to the dog to play.
This daughter of mine is a thinker, she doesn’t share her frustrations until they seemingly overflow from her in a fury. When I ask her how her day was at school she answers “fine”. If I ask what she did she responds “I forget”. Thankfully I can communicate directly with the teacher on a daily basis right now but it’s presented a challenge when Sydney is stressing about something and unwilling to share.
This little girl has held my hand up until today, the time hadn’t yet come where she would be doing something independently. I’m one of those Mommies who stand and watch gymnastics instead of simply dropping her off and getting shopping done. It’s just the way I am.
And so Sydney and Hubby have been preparing me for this day, there have been conversations about her riding to school, the route, how to get around people on the sidewalk and the safety involved.
But I wasn’t ready.
My gut was turning, I was sweating and yet….I did what we do as Mothers, I let her spread those darling little wings.
The time had come for me to step up and meet her level of confidence.
She was ready, and the fact that I wasn’t shouldn’t have held her back.
Yup I got through it, the only way I knew how; by following her.
You didn’t seriously think I’d allow a 7 year old to ride alone did you?
Although she would have preferred to have the umbilical cord cut for this achievement she was very proud of herself and Mommy wasn’t having an anxiety attack.