This week I was asked where my blog inspiration comes from…..my response came easily, I didn’t think about it before I Tweeted: “I draw inspiration from the world around me, so many interesting things!”Take a moment there folks, drink in my wisdom….ha.
This was then retweeted and I felt awesome, when I re-read it I felt it to be an accurate statement which I was kinda proud of!
Then this morning I retweeted something without carefully reading it, it was funny to me. This is what I thought it said: “There is a fine line between social networking and wasting your life.”
I think it’s true and worthy of a RT. (don’t lines like that bring back memories of Elaine on Seinfeld deeming things Spongeworthy?)
In reality the tweet I sent included a profanity, said profanity used to be my favorite….I’ve worked hard to drop and I was totally unaware I’d used it. Listen, it’s not like I’d killed someone but I had such a colorful vocabulary that I take some pride in my achievement cleaning it up.
How did I find out you ask?
I received a Direct Message that said:
“hey Julie-I love your blog &tweets but found the retweet w/ the “f” word offensive I know we have freedom in Christ but we also need respect”
My heart dropped instantly and I searched for the message I had sent.
And there it was…oh man that sucked.
I wondered if it happened because I hadn’t taken the time to read it properly…..or was it that I am just so accustomed to hearing the word that I don’t notice it?
I thanked my friend for the message and apologized for offending as that wasn’t my intent.
Some might have taken the stance that I hadn’t really done anything wrong, that all of us have different levels of “filters”. Some may have been offended at this person messaging me.
I appreciated the display of an honest person, she gave me the opportunity to see her boundary. I wasn’t tarred or feathered but she extended her heart to me and allowed me to come close.
That is pretty brave in my mind.
And so on this Friday I’ve been given a lesson in attentiveness, setting boundaries and love.
While I cannot promise I won’t make this error EVER again, I can promise that I will be more conscious.
I seek progress rather than perfection!
I’m glad of that and hope that if something a friend does offends me, I too would be courageous enough to talk to them about it, rather than just changing my opinion of them.
Would you say something?
haha, we've all retweeted things in haste, huh? I am impressed that this person came to you directly, and that you were open to her critique. Both as the Word instructs us to do. You are so transparent, I would expect nothing different from you. :):):)
The Empress says
I am feeling guilty b.c you RT my tweet.That I had RT'd.xo
Sober Julie says
@The Empress lol don't feel guilty, I still like it but would change it a smidge
I'm mixed on this topic. I throw in an F-bomb once in a while – i hate when people use it every sentence or worse every three words – but one once in a while to convey how one is feeling I don't find overly offensive though I see how some might.
Recovering Church Lady says
Very cool friend. She could have gotten all judgey but she said her piece kindly I think.
I needed my dose of "sober Julie" today! Yes the potty mouth, I find my "sailor" vocabulary springs forth from the unknown when I'm agitated. Before that was a lot! Now only when I get crazy about some subject but I do like it when someone reminds me that it's not all about me and perhaps I am not being considerate that other's don't want to hear this language. So like you said girl "progress not perfection" and I love ya, just the way you are!
.from the point of view of this recovered alcoholic i can tell you that there's no excuse for it julie..plain and simple…its sad to me that many of us recovering alcoholics feel a need for this obnoxious/dis-respectful behavior..an interesting question to ask is WHY does someone NEED to be offensive with cursing?..have you ever noticed that many alcoholics in recovery go around with a chip on their shoulder that says "i can be as abrasive and dis-courteous and obnoxious as i like and you cant stop me!"..they are intentionally offensive to draw attention to themselves by shocking others… as i said..its sad..
Julie, thank you for this post…it made me cry! I took a HUGE leap of faith in contacting you- I dont really "know" you outside of your tweets and blog. It was a 50 -50 chance if you would respond as you did or respond w/ who do you think you are- response. I have struggled w/ putting things under the rug my whole life- (as in not confronting or correcting or even disagreeing) I am a recovering emotional hoarder and so I have had to learn confrontation, speaking up, and disagreeing- within the Biblical guidelines is actually good and ok! In fact its healthy and the Bible does tell us iron sharpens iron. So, Julie, thank you for hearing my heart and for responding as you did with your heart. I am grateful for you!
Kathy S. says
Love that you responded humbly and graciously. Love that you saw the value and didn't take it wrong. :) Bless you!