Today I’m pleased to introduce you all to a blogger whom I’ve followed for almost a year now, another fantastic woman the blogisphere has blessed me with.
This is my saucy, feisty friend KLZ. She is warm, loving, sarcastic and honest…all aspects which I adore about her. KLZ can be found telling amusing stories about her life at Taming Insanity. and throwing her inner thoughts out in 140 characters @TamingInsanity.
I’m a flawed person. Let’s face it, we all are. There’s something about being human that inherently means we’re going to have flaws.
I’m not sure if it’s a blessing or a curse that I’m perfectly comfortable having flaws. I’m very aware of them – they are part of my most basic make up. How could I ever claim to know or love myself without knowing my flaws?
Plus, people have no problem pointing them out to me. I’m too sensitive. I’m too harsh and insensitive. I ask annoying questions like “How can I be both sensitive and insensitive?”
The truth is, I mostly don’t care what other people think my flaws are. For you see, I am my own worst enemy. I don’t think anyone can ever quite knock me out of that position. Someone else thinks I’m mean? Oh shucks. That’s nothing compared to what I’ve told myself in the past.
It doesn’t happen as frequently as it used to but occasionally I find myself overcome with horror at just how stupid I can be. I’m book smart but I can’t tell my left from my right. It infuriates me more than you can imagine that I cannot be counted on to do minor things like remember where my keys are.
So, I have developed systems over the years. For instance, my keys must go in the same spot every day. If they do not, an emotional riot ensues. I dodge frantically around the house shouting helpfully about how I know I put them somewhere safe. I curse myself for not being able to perform a task most two-year olds and monkeys could perform. How in the name of goodness can I not know where my keys are? I become frantic and overwhelmed. It’s ugly. Almost invariably, the keys are in my pocket. I never seem to learn this lesson.
The bonus to having carefully devised systems is that I have fewer emotional tantrums and riots in my head. However, it means I can be a bit rigid. If someone moves my keys or mocks my systems, I can feel myself get literally hot under the collar. They don’t know the stress I deal with when my systems are broken and I can’t easily complete simple tasks. They don’t know how much I berate myself for having the quadratic equation committed to memory but not recalling the precise placement of my keys. They don’t know that systems are the things that make me feel sane. All they see is that I’m very rigid about how certain things are done.
Which is sort of my overall point here: the thing that makes me great is the thing that makes me suck.
Do not kid yourself: this is true for you too. If you’re a great socializer, there are plenty of people who think you talk too much. There is no escape. There is no way to not have flaws. We are all flawed. It’s part of being human.
So give in and embrace your flaws. As long as they’re not physically hurting anyone, they’re really not so bad. Accept yourself as you are. It’s the best gift you can give yourself this holiday season.