Fatherhood ~ Joy & Frustration Abound

With the birth of your first child your life changes……FOREVER. Forget being the spontaneous, spur-of-the moment individual….no longer can you decide to head to the beach for the weekend or meet friends for a last-minute dinner. Now that you’ve had a bundle of joy placed in your hands you have responsibility.

Last year at this time I wrote a heart felt tribute to my husband, I shared my love and respect for the father he is proudly. This year I’d like to write a different sort of post, I’ve decided to honor the man in my life by sharing the REAL deal of parenting, the joys I’m certain Hubby didn’t know were in store when he dreamed of life with our children.

Fishing as a Father

Gone are the days of waking at 5, jumping in to the car while ignoring that nasty hangover to meet your buddies up North on the lake. Ah yes, I see that longing look in your eyes as you recall your pal falling out of the boat while reeling in that MONSTER pike. I’ve heard that story as a strange vacant gaze appears upon your face, that faraway look as you stand next to your daughter at the fishing pond at the local fair.

Thank you so much for taking the girls out fishing early last Sunday morning, I really looked forward to a few hours of quiet time reading my book. I’m sorry that you had to come back after only 45 minutes, frustrated and defeated. I’m sorry that Chelsea wouldn’t stop talking, I know she’s been talking for her entire 6 years and yes it annoys me too….I’m sorry Sydney suddenly became disinterested and whined for 45 minutes to go in a paddle boat on the lake……yes you WERE just trying to do something nice and make memories, I hear you pal!

Using the Bathroom in Private

I hear stories about teenage boys who take forever in the bathroom and understand it is something of an achievement for you men to spend an inordinate amount of time in the loo. Yes, I do know you used to enjoy private time doing your business in peace without someone barging in or banging on the door screaming they have to “gooooooo”.

This one I have a solution for; this is one parenting challenge which I feel confident in solving. This solution will take commitment, you’ll have to put in some effort but I assure you it’s worth it…..I have pointed out the need for this for years might I add…..Let’s build a 2nd bathroom. Yes I promise you can “Man” it up with a urinal and it will be locked at all times and you can have the only key…but you clean it.

Dealing with Drama

No I don’t have words to describe the noise which occurs within the walls of our house when one of our girls becomes offended by the slightest thing. Please don’t roll your eyes at me, I’m your wife not one of “them”. I assure you our daughters are not possessed, this IS normal behavior for the women who will lead the world one day.

Tomorrow may not be any better but we’ll clench our teeth and do our best to soothe their precious sensibilities and restore order. We will then avoid all human contact and attempt to regroup into a semblance of our easy-going natures of the old days.

Enjoying Long Drives as a Family

Ah yes those were the days, when you’d wisk me away for a road trip in our twenties. I remember how much you enjoyed choosing a remote destination and taking our time stopping in small towns along the way to check out everything of interest. The first time we drove to Nova Scotia for the first time was FAB, tunes cranked we sang together and explored along the 18 hour journey.

Comparing times like these to driving with our two lovely daughters in the vehicle makes me want to pull out my back teeth before I do another long road trip. I can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a 4×4 box with them either, no we cannot duct tape their mouths closed or build a barrier between them in the backseat.

Yes I know that when you were a child you wouldn’t have dared behaving like this and yes it’s normal for families to pull over at unexpected highway exits to regroup over a threatening pep-talk on a long drive.

This bloody list could go on forever, suffice it to say on this Father’s Day I’m not getting all flowery, today I’ll simply say I’m sorry. I’m sorry we can’t have anything nice without the children toying with it and breaking it….I’m sorry we can’t sleep in past 9….I’m sorry that you have to disassemble the bathroom sink because they’ve stuck toothbrushes so far down the drain the water doesn’t drain…..

Today I’m saying Thank you.

Thank you for making me laugh when I want to cry in frustration…..thank you for having my proverbial back with “them”……thank you for not rolling your eyes at me…..Thank you for teaching me what an amazing, loving father can be.

One day I promise you we’ll have white couches and the car radio won’t be set to a pop station.

In the meantime you’re my inspiration.