In the past few months I’ve been feeling like God is driving me to be of service to others and find meaning in everything…
With each opportunity to serve I’ve felt an undeniable, burning desire to help which my own self-perceived inadequacies cannot overpower.
Generally speaking I’ve been unable to commit myself to any cause on an ongoing basis, because I live with chronic pain I cannot predict how I’ll feel each day but God just continues to provide me with options. Even when I have felt quite useless and would rather sit quietly on the sidelines.
You all know that I shaved my head in August to raise money for Ronald McDonald House Toronto. I arranged the Bald Better Be Beautiful event hoping that a bunch of my friends would come to mock support me while my head was shaved and I’d empty their pockets for this good cause. I’m pleased to say that we managed to raise over $3,000 for RMH Toronto which means that more families will be able to stay close by while their children undergo medical procedures in Toronto!!!
One would think that this would be enough for a while but of course not, I had planned to rest for a while and focus upon myself and my family but of course God has a different plan. Each day God sends me something to keep me feeling purposeful, no matter how small it seems to me it’s always to benefit someone else and myself at the same time. Because apparently this life isn’t actually all about me…..and I cannot control it but am learning to exist within it with meaning.
A few weeks ago I was enjoying a blog post from my friend over at Edenland who always manages to stir something within me. This redhead can turn my soul on its end with her words and affect me more than is comfortable. So on this day I braced myself as I began reading Holding Things Together, sipping my coffee as my eyes skimmed the screen.
The beginning of her post had me smiling…ok sewing, Grandmother, cute buttons, great photo….I can handle this one Eden….and then BLAM there was the sucker punch I forgot to watch for! Eden has made something beautiful out of a glass jar of buttons which she purchased from Skull Buttonry….who donates all proceeds of button sales to an orphanage in Indonesia….
I’m going to put this glass jar of buttons in a prominent place and every time I look at them, it will remind me that sometimes things CAN mean things. I keep finding meaning in the world, and then losing it again. It’s confusing.
“Everything is meaningless.” Terrifying!
“Everything is meaningless.” Exhilarating!
I’m sure when Eden typed these words into her blogging software she wasn’t thinking of the sober chick at the other end of the world who would read them and the impact they would have upon her…but they did. Ok that’s a lie, if you know Eden like me she probably vomited the words onto the screen then critiqued them until she knew they’d hit the mark….hoping they would.
The reasons these little buttons and Eden’s words hit me so hard was because these pretty buttons do something…..they make people happy and also HELP.
She said I can help.
And of course I did as I was told.
Here is my little glass jar of buttons which makes me happy and reminds me that my little bits of service make a difference…..and so can yours if only you watch for God guiding you.
I’m going to do what my friend Eden said, I’m going to keep them for a while and enjoy them….then I’ll pass them along and order more. No need to be a button hoarder…..
I’m also taking this opportunity to ask you bloggers to stop motivating me so much, my heart is so full from watching you all make a difference that it needs a rest.
To everyone who reads my blog I ask this, are you willing?
Do you respond to opportunities to be of service to someone or something?
Do you have something which makes you as happy as my wee jar of buttons?
Firstly congratulations! That is extremely impressive! I know today I’ve been faced with a problem that challenges me to be a better person I was surprised at how well I handled it. And to answer your second question I do have something that makes me so happy every day, the sound of my husbands laugh. It brightens me up no matter how down I am and lifts me higher no matter how high I am.
Hi Julie, I’m never sure where to start after reading your posts because they are always so amazing and truthful. You are allowed to take time for yourself. It’s great that you want to help everyone and $3000 is an amazing feat, but even the small things you do to help and encourage other bloggers, like myself, go farther than you could imagine. You are a truly special person and I hope you’ll remember that!
As far as things that make me happy…It would be cliche to say the kids (which would be true) so I’ll go with music. For me, music is the thing that makes the world go round. A good song on a bad day can change my entire perspective. Alternatively, there are some songs that make me stop and reflect on moments of my life and whether they are good or bad moments, I still love that I have that connection with the music.
I hope you have a great day!!!
There are not many women {or men for that matter} who would shave their head for such a wonderful cause, you should feel very proud of the help you have given to the families of these ill children.
I have a very emotional attachment to buttons, I have a container of my late moms and I love to look through them. She would never through out a button, if a shirt or pants were unwearable, she would cut off the button’s before discarding the items. For me they represent a container of memories and I have strung some on fine wire and use them as garland on our Christmas tree…a garland of memories.
Julie, I felt the same pull when a saw a bone marrow drive for a local man. Right away my husband and I drove out to see if we were compatible stem cell donors for this man. We were not, but we are now registered in the registry. At the time, it seemed like that was my most important purpose.
I have an old stuffed bear that makes me smile everytime I see “him”. He is now a very old bear, but everytime I see him I am filled with comfort.
Jenna
http://www.snymed.blogspot.ca
I have had many times, and for different reasons, where I was so overcome with the need to help simply because someone or something struck a chord in me at that very moment when I least expected it.
You’re inspiring too Julie and make me want to help! You are are so awesome for shaving your head for such a wonderful cause and it really inspires other to make similar commitments in their efforts to help :)
As always I am inspired by your and your raw ability to give. You are setting an example for your children which I am in awe of.
I live by a motto that one day I will understand why I’ve been giving the challenges I have. It may not be until the day I reach heaven….
BTW, the jar of buttons is beautiful.
Julie, your words are a balm. Your tweets that pop up in my feed are morsels of “real” …. I’m so glad I know you. Love your buttons. Xxxxx
Julie, you never cease to amaze me and am deeply honoured to be your friend. Seriously, your posts always inspire. Thank you so much for calling me when you did this morning – – although you probably weren’t expecting the type of convo we had! LOL!!! Thank you for being there, sista! Luv ya! xo
What a great post! You are an amazing woman, thanks for sharing!