In the past few months I’ve been feeling like God is driving me to be of service to others and find meaning in everything…
With each opportunity to serve I’ve felt an undeniable, burning desire to help which my own self-perceived inadequacies cannot overpower.
Generally speaking I’ve been unable to commit myself to any cause on an ongoing basis, because I live with chronic pain I cannot predict how I’ll feel each day but God just continues to provide me with options. Even when I have felt quite useless and would rather sit quietly on the sidelines.
You all know that I shaved my head in August to raise money for Ronald McDonald House Toronto. I arranged the Bald Better Be Beautiful event hoping that a bunch of my friends would come to
mock support me while my head was shaved and I’d empty their pockets for this good cause. I’m pleased to say that we managed to raise over $3,000 for RMH Toronto which means that more families will be able to stay close by while their children undergo medical procedures in Toronto!!!
One would think that this would be enough for a while but of course not, I had planned to rest for a while and focus upon myself and my family but of course God has a different plan. Each day God sends me something to keep me feeling purposeful, no matter how small it seems to me it’s always to benefit someone else and myself at the same time. Because apparently this life isn’t actually all about me…..and I cannot control it but am learning to exist within it with meaning.
A few weeks ago I was enjoying a blog post from my friend over at Edenland who always manages to stir something within me. This redhead can turn my soul on its end with her words and affect me more than is comfortable. So on this day I braced myself as I began reading Holding Things Together, sipping my coffee as my eyes skimmed the screen.
The beginning of her post had me smiling…ok sewing, Grandmother, cute buttons, great photo….I can handle this one Eden….and then BLAM there was the sucker punch I forgot to watch for! Eden has made something beautiful out of a glass jar of buttons which she purchased from Skull Buttonry….who donates all proceeds of button sales to an orphanage in Indonesia….
I’m going to put this glass jar of buttons in a prominent place and every time I look at them, it will remind me that sometimes things CAN mean things. I keep finding meaning in the world, and then losing it again. It’s confusing.
“Everything is meaningless.” Terrifying!
“Everything is meaningless.” Exhilarating!
I’m sure when Eden typed these words into her blogging software she wasn’t thinking of the sober chick at the other end of the world who would read them and the impact they would have upon her…but they did. Ok that’s a lie, if you know Eden like me she probably vomited the words onto the screen then critiqued them until she knew they’d hit the mark….hoping they would.
The reasons these little buttons and Eden’s words hit me so hard was because these pretty buttons do something…..they make people happy and also HELP.
She said I can help.
And of course I did as I was told.
Here is my little glass jar of buttons which makes me happy and reminds me that my little bits of service make a difference…..and so can yours if only you watch for God guiding you.
I’m going to do what my friend Eden said, I’m going to keep them for a while and enjoy them….then I’ll pass them along and order more. No need to be a button hoarder…..
I’m also taking this opportunity to ask you bloggers to stop motivating me so much, my heart is so full from watching you all make a difference that it needs a rest.
To everyone who reads my blog I ask this, are you willing?
Do you respond to opportunities to be of service to someone or something?
Do you have something which makes you as happy as my wee jar of buttons?