This morning I woke to the sweet morning breath of my lispy 7-year-old singing “Happy Valentines Day” next to my bed.
As I pried my lazy right eye open I quashed the grouchy early morning resentments aside and forced myself to be pleasant. I’m no morning person to say the least. Her little arms wrapped around me and we found a wee moment to snuggle the love into the morning.
My heart filled to the top, I arose and we completed the morning routine smoothly. This morning only one of my offspring jaunted off to school, our eldest remained with me because we were visiting the doctor’s office.
My Sydney has been most amazing sense of 9-year-old humour I’ve ever seen, she sees the ridiculous in everything and manages to snap me out of a funk like nobody else.
This morning I was fortunate enough to have her in a loving mood, as we were driving she pointed out that I don’t look THAT old for 40, that my wrinkles weren’t as bad with makeup on. Then she sniggered….telling me that she is at the age where she’s aware of her humorous effect.
As always I take these as the compliments she means them to be.
At the doctor’s office Sydney had a check up, enjoying playing with the blood pressure cuff, weighing herself and annoying me with tongue depressor drum sticks.
My Valentine’s Day gift actually came during a conversation with my doctor. We were reviewing my current pain levels and PTSD symptoms.
My doctor consulted my notes and mentioned that it was 2 years ago that I’d been in to see her because I felt like my world was ending. It brought my mind back, rolling over the hills and valleys of the past 2 years I recalled how dark that particular valley was.
For 3 years now I’ve lived with this pain and at times it overwhelms me. I cannot function in my career of choice, I can’t perform physically and my mind plays tricks on me…..
Today I had the chance to become grateful as I gazed around that small, stark office.
I am grateful that through this journey, of which I cannot always see the path, that I’ve had LOVE guiding and supporting me.
Love of the people in my life and mainly the love of GOD.
In the darkest times, when I couldn’t’ feel God with me my faith held me up. When I was weak it was to God that I turned and he’s always brought me along to a brighter day.
I know this will continue in my life and I truly hope you can find God’s love in your life this Valentine’s Day.