Today I wrote out a long article titled “What is Life When You Feel Held Hostage” which would have knocked your socks off!
I lamented, raged and was brilliantly eloquent about a subject which I shouldn’t post. I’m involved in a legal case stemming from my car accident 3 years ago and simply can’t openly write about that situation..knowing that lawyers are reading this now, hoping to use it against me gives me the creeps but it’s the reality of my situation at the moment.
All I can tell you is that I was amazing and instead I want to give you a bit of me on a different topic which will hopefully have the same message…here we go!
What is Life
This week I’ve been unwell, this is nothing new in my life. Physical pain has gotten the best of me for much of the past week and I’ve been lying down thinking about accepting life on life’s terms.
It’s a HUGE topic and apparently I can spend a horrendous amount of time contemplating it.
My daughters and husband are the ones who truly feel the effect of my chronic pain. Yes, I feel it physically but they feel it in my absence. Some will say it’s character building but in my heart I feel it as a form of robbery.
Our girls don’t have memories of me skating with them, swooping down the hills on skis or conquering the highest toboggan mountain. Instead they have memories of me sitting in a cozy chair or bed listening to them telling me about the event.
This is our life and I’ve come to terms with it but I don’t have to like it!
I hate that I’m not always present, I hate that I can’t be.
There’s no pretty way to say it, I’m not fully functional in my children’s lives. There are aspects of the kids lives which I simply can’t participate in.
Facts are facts and this is one reality in life that I can’t change so I’ve had to accept it and try to spin it into a positive for my children.
Instead of always skipping attending events I can’t fully participate in, now I go.
I go to the hills, to the events, to the ice rinks and I take photos, chat and stay as long as I physically can. I stand quietly by and watch my husband and friends helping my daughters to experience the aspects of life which I can’t today.
I’m stepping up and experiencing life on life’s terms
Rather than sitting and wallowing I made a decision to engage in life!
Are you doing this, asking what is life? Are you actually standing in your own skin, accepting who you are TODAY and staring down life looking for the joy that’s available?
Listen, I know all too well how hard it is to fight the instinct to give up. My journey has NOT gone to my plan at all and there have been days where I’ve wanted to throw in the towel and hide. In fact, I’ve hit times where I’ve had to withdraw to build up my strength.
But there came a time when I couldn’t do this anymore. I couldn’t hide from life, if I did I wasn’t sure I’d bother coming back.
Knowing this I’ve learned my limitations and have accepted them. This doesn’t mean I’m giving up on physical recovery, what it means is that I plan around them.
I attend events knowing that I’ve arranged quiet locations in which I can rest. I go to the beach with my special chair knowing that I will enjoy watching the girls play even if I can’t. I wave to my family as they go off to enjoy tubing on a friends boat knowing that I’ll hear all about it by the campfire that evening.
Instead of seeing what I’m missing in life, I’m focusing on what I’m experiencing.
Today I am sharing my perspective, just hoping someone will be inspired. While I’d rather share that amazing article I wrote about struggling though a situation I’m showing that we CAN engage in life on life’s terms.
That damned saying is proving true, “When life throws you lemons, make lemonade.”
Life is what we make it….yup there’s another cheesy sounding but oh so pertinent saying for you to consider.
Life for me is faith, family and living NOW not when everything is just the way I want or expect it to be.
Today I’m asking simply, what is life to you?