Have you ever found yourself in a conversation or posting on Facebook, dumbing down your actual life circumstances? There have been times in my life when I’ve been utterly overwhelmed by my current situation and yet found myself pasting on a smile and conveying to the world that my life is all unicorns and rainbows.
As I’m displaying this false exterior, within myself there have been storms taking place. Inner-critisisms waring against my self-conficence…”you SHOULD be better a this…you SUCK as a Mom…if only I had done….”. Thoughts which creep into my self-consciousness, bashing away at my self-esteem…leaving me feeling less-than over time in most aspects.
At one stage in my life I was a perfectionist, nothing I did was quite good enough for my own standards. There was always a smile on my face but inside I was critiquing my efforts in life in every area. OH this is just plain TOXIC!
The results speak for themselves; my confidence eroded, my outlook changed, my time was wasted, I was perpetually unhappy with myself and in the end I began to really upon alcohol to escape. This is a short-story version of events but I want to give you the overall feeling of what took place when I allowed my perfectionism to get the best of me.
Perfectionism Is All About Ego
It’s my opinion that perfectionism is the result of a false sense of pride and an excuse to save face. It’s an egotistical condition, one that cannot happen if we are focused upon being of service to others in life instead of ourselves.
When our minds are caught up in “self” we are unable to truly see the opportunities around us to improve our own situation and that of others. Focusing upon your self-percieved inadequacies is self-servign and until you’re willing to crack that mask of perfection a person will be dissatisfied.
How to Beat Perfectionism
Once you’ve been practicing the behaviours and thinking patters of a perfectionist for some time, it’s not simple to change.
Images: freedigitalphotos.net David Castillo Dominici
You become pre-programmed to react in your historical patterns and you simply must replace these negative behaviours with new, healthy ones.
Ask yourself what’s the worst that could happen if you actually are imperfect? The logical side of yourself will understand and know that you aren’t the centre of everyone’s worlds and life will indeed go on.
Being vulnerable isn’t easy but I assure you that you CAN learn to be that way…and experience a much healthier, happier life by doing so. Begin by being willing to make mistakes and stumble, providing that you are stumbling forward.
Forget analyzing who you are today and focus upon who you’d like to become. Understand that today is just one day in time, upon a long journey and perhaps you’ll be able to take a deep breath and relax.
Each day we have is a blessing, one which shouldn’t be wasted by our egos. Each day brings an opportunity to do something to help make the world a better place for people around us and ourselves. Take each day’s events as an opportunity to see the world in this new light, strive to help someone else instead of focusing upon yourself and your current situation.
Have you ever experienced a stage in your life when this state of Perfectionism has take over?
By being willing to see our own faults, blunders and fears we can overcome them. Allow yourself to be as imperfectly perfect as God created you to be today…and move forward, improving yourself in a healthy manner. Instant gratification ain’t all it’s cracked up to be.
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